


Gloom

by theimpossiblegeekygrrl



Category: The OA (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, F/M, Near Death Experiences, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 09:23:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11506449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theimpossiblegeekygrrl/pseuds/theimpossiblegeekygrrl
Summary: Hap checked his watch for the last time, realizing she had been gone for over seven minutes. He leaned back on his heels, careful to keep her airway open as he let his wonder for the miracle of this woman surround him.





	Gloom

Hap hit her with the rifle before he realized just what he’d done.

But, by then, it was too late.

Prairie fell onto the straw-coloured grass in a heap, dead weight wrapped in white cotton. Frantic, especially when blood started to seep through her pale hair, Hap knelt to her side and put his left index and middle fingers to her neck. When he felt nothing other than her rapidly chilling skin, he dropped the gun and used both hands, running his fingers over her carotid arteries, sliding down to her wrists when he still could detect no movement.

“ _No_ ,” he whispered. Pure instinct took over, and after checking his watch, his hands went to his neck, looking for the stethoscope that hadn’t been there in a decade. Cursing, Hap dropped his head to Prairie’s chest, pressing his ear over her heart. He couldn’t help but notice that she smelled like the lilac soap he’d purchased for her before they left New York.

But the fragrant body was silent, and no breath rose or fell against his cheek.

_Not like this, not like this._

Hap didn’t want to hurt her more than he already had, so when he started CPR he tried to be as gentle as he could be. He’d broken too many ribs in his former career, and he couldn’t stand to see her in that kind of pain.

It was easy to find a rhythm that suited him; the rock music in his head provided the perfect cadence. Too soon it was time to breathe for her, and when Hap tilted her chin, almost like a real lover would, he saw her sky-blue eyes were already beginning to cloud over. Prairie’s lips were cool against his and tasted like the figs he’d shipped in to apologize for the way she found August. Now it seemed trivial that she hadn’t smiled for him, even though she’d groaned in pleasure when he’d fed her a bite.

Cycle after cycle Hap continued, checking his watch just as he would if he were still in the emergency room.  After five minutes with no response, no medications to give her, and the house fifteen minutes away, he wondered if he should just …

Shaking his head, he continued, even though cold sweat was running down his cheeks, and his arms were beginning to ache with exertion. 

Just as he had finished what felt like the hundredth cycle, pushing a warm breath of air from his lungs into hers, Hap paused briefly wipe his eyes.

 _No tears, what good would tears do to save her now_?

That was when he felt it. At first he thought it was his imagination, so when he leaned in closer to her he closed his eyes, focusing only on sensation. A warm breeze floated against his cheek, almost like the ocean wind.  Hap opened his eyes and looked down at Prairie’s face, seeing the small wrinkle form just between her eyes, at the spot that showed she was going to be stubborn about one of his requests. Her chest barely rose with the effort to breathe on her own, and the frantic flutter of her pulse was just visible under her ear.

“Come back to me,” he whispered, running his thumbs along her cheeks as he tilted her neck slightly, making it easier for her to catch her first full breath in …

_Christ.  
_

Hap checked his watch for the last time, realizing she had been gone for over seven minutes. He leaned back on his heels, careful to keep her airway open as he let his wonder for the miracle of this woman surround him. As he looked up at the sky, he could just see the first strains of twilight peak through the grey clouds – pale lavender and soft pink rays of sun shining against the gloom.


End file.
